Strange events sometimes occur, that almost rip my heart into pieces. They aren't always that serious alright, might not be intentional as well, but they make me wonder what is it that matters? What should be done to show your near and dear ones feel that you really care? What is the criterion basically? No answer found.
The problem with me is that I make friends with a very few people, and then I ACTUALLY consider them my friends, and expect them to behave them in the same way.If I care and I show it, I want it to be shown from the other side too. If I am being good, I expect goodness, if I try my best not to hurt, I want the same attitude in return.
However, this usually does not happen. No matter how much you know a person or how much you trust him/ her, you always have something new to observe.
The incident that prompted me to write this blog was as simple as anything, just my friend did something that I least expected, perhaps without realizing how much I have got hurt, but the fact is, it killed me inside.
To add to the already worst situation, I failed to say it out. I tried to tell how bad I feel about it, but words simply refused to convey my feelings. Then the so-called ego came to play its part, and told me to keep my mouth shut when nobody is going to get the meaning of what I say.
I knew we would end up in a fight if I express my feelings, I knew I cannot explain them. Still, I badly wanted my friend to know what is wrong with me, why I ain't responding in the way I usually do, why I am not enjoying the jokes, why I am not happy when nothing seems to be wrong. I just want this fact to be realized, not told.
Alright I do realize everyone has his/ her own limitations, not everybody think in the same way. What is so disastrous and heart-breaking for me might be extremely plain and simple for others. However, the longing of this story to be known remain, without me telling it. *sigh* I wonder if this is my non-expressive attitude or what, but I just wish that either people become more understanding, or the wish to have understanding people around dies out. Yes, this is the last thing I wish for every time I confront such situation...
Hey Hira don't be sad dear I know how you are feeling because life is full of such bad incidences or we can say people are disguised or hippocrates, It hurts more when a close person, blood relation do something unexpected and we have to see his/her face in every family gathering and moreover the person again try to get free with you but life moves on we have to forgive people and at the same moment we have to draw certain limitations with them.
ReplyDeleteBest of Lucks!
Right Noor, the best option is to limit your own expectations and hopes.
ReplyDeleteand Thanx for the wish :)