A lesson learnt ...

By Hira Malik

 

 

When I got admission in University of Karachi, I found it really difficult to adjust with other students. It was not that I was from another planet or considered myself superior (or inferior for that matter), it was just that having studied at a private college, where atmosphere was pretty much same as that of private schools, I was more like that 'Mummy Daddy type'.

I used to dine out with school and college friends, but only at a restaurant 10 minutes drive from my place.

My mother always dropped me to school (college too) and also picked me up, traveling in public transport was more like a night mare at that time.

At college, we were required to have 75% attendance to get our forms attested and forwarded to Board, so long absences were just out of question. As we were FORCED to go to college regularly and study over there, need for going to ‘coaching centre’ never arouse.

Cutting a long story short, I just a little different and pretty reserved because of the secure environment I had been living in, in contrast to others who were quite confident, open and seemed to adapt to new environment with full ease.

Anyways that phase passed, I not only adjusted but also made friends and that uncomfortable period was over.

The first major confusion, or clash, arouse when the official departmental picnic was announced. All my friends were ready to go, no one even mentioned taking permission from their homes, they already were permitted. Mine, however, was a different case. I had to ask my parents, and if they do not allow, going was not an option.

I came home, asked my father, half confident that he’ll allow, but was ‘heartbroken’ to hear his reply- ‘NO you are not going’!

This statement was quite difficult to digest at that time, with all my friends forcing me to come and making plans of what to do, what to wear, where to meet- right in front of me. I tried to convince my father, but he had his decision! Anyhow, the day came and passed away, I just had to control myself, stay at home and try to conceal my feelings as much as possible.

This incident, no matter how bitter, taught me one of the basic lessons of life- you do not always get what you want, sometimes you just have to let go. At times, there is even no solid reason for things; you just have to accept circumstances as it is. No matter how much you cry, no matter how much you fuss over things, what is destined would be done. So, instead of always complaining and grieving over what you haven’t got, be contented with what you have got.

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
  Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,  

 Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.

It was only after this picnic scene that I started cherishing every moment spent with my friends. Even small functions, get-togethers and little hangouts became important.

It may sound a little childish, but that is how I learn things. It is how I have learnt many lessons of life that have been really beneficial at times.